The last couple of months I have been going through a huge process myself… Life has brought me, in what feels like a short amount of time, challenges to overcome. These challenges tap into a huge block of resistance…

For every one of us those blocks are different, but overcoming them and dealing with those issues to transform them into a positive part of our truthful path of life seems quite similar…

I did not think of writing about this process, but as it has affected my connection with my horses I thought it might be good to share…

Instead of avoidance deciding to go through

Actually it is quite funny… We always want our horses to learn new things, to overcome challenges, to grow so they can function better within our human world… But when we go through this process ourselves it may take years of avoiding an issue before we finally decide to step through the barrier that we feel… When we do decide to go through we stumble on this huge amount of fear, mental thought and we enter a bubble where connection with our horses and our own higher selves is practically impossible…

When I write about this I think about all those horses that are asked to overcome their fear and I feel even more compassionate and impressed by their bravery and ability when they do are able to connect with us when they are in a state of fear… Also when they cannot connect because the fear is too immense, I understand now more than ever that we ask a lot from them… We ask them to give themselves completely to us… We should not take this lightly… This gift is huge!

Imagine the feeling when you feel your life is being threatened and it feels as if you are going to die, and someone is standing there with their hands stretched out. When you are lucky this person radiates love, peace and you may catch a glimpse of it… an opening to help you to take that hand and bring you to safety… What if this person would be pushy, harsh, impatient or scared…

Even when you do feel love and peace from that person, you might have had experiences where people pretended to be sweet and you gave them your trust, and seconds later they betrayed that trust and hurt you in the moment you were in your most fragile state… How many times have I seen that a horse is scared and ran away, when he would come back and let him be caught he would get a big slap on his head… These wounds go deep and it makes it for the next person a thousand times more difficult to have their hand accepted…

Betrayal after trust is the most hurtful pain one can give to another… Always reward a horse when he comes back and connects with you… Always… The result will be that this horse will not have to run away anymore, because he knows he can trust you, that you ARE safety and that running away would be more fearful than staying with you… This asks time, patience and consequent behaviour of the human partner… This is unconditional love.

The mental bubble

There is nothing I dislike more than when I am in a mental bubble… When my rationality works with me in a healthy relation with my intuition life is beautiful… I feel connected with all of life. I feel the love radiating from my horses. I just feel loved… But when I am in my mental bubble, I feel disconnected, I feel alone, and I feel everything but loved… It is an awful feeling, especially when you know what love feels like…

What happens then is that instead of being loving toward myself, I become even more upset. I become angry and pressure myself more… “Just open yourself! Feel love again” hahaha It is funny… Self-love is the first step toward feeling love and feeling loved, so beating yourself up for not being able to open your heart is quite the opposite…

Resistance

I noticed that through this huge process, where my life will take a big turn, that what was causing me difficulty were not the challenges and the new direction, but in fact it was my resistance to the new… When all these changes enter our life it is like we are in the middle of a big storm and almost automatically we try to hold on. We try to grab everything that we can grab just to make it through the storm. But when we are trying to hold on, we feel the storm way more, than we when we would just turn ourselves over to the storm… let it rush through us and trust life… Just as we ask our horses to trust us, we are asked to trust life… to trust our higher self that is a guide to us on our soul’s path…

Release

When I realised I was fighting myself and life and how much I distrusted my own inner guidance, and noticed how big my resistance was I eventually was so tired that I had to say: okay, relax… this is all you can do for now…

I feel as if I have travelled the world. And on that travel I met old parts of myself, parts that I thought I had already resolved… But life is not about being: “ TADAAA Now you are enlightened… “ No it is a process in which we go back and forth… we are in pain and then we are in joy… it is just what it is, and that is all okay…

With love

Helena Sidiropoulos

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